A special Christmas edition!
Mr. B. is gone, but our pastor seems determined to keep up the tradition:

"Our church needs to worry about reproduction, especially at Christmas. Are you bringing more people into the church?"

"What do you worry about... sanctification? constipation? I take my fiber every day, religiously!"

"Do you worry about your dog seeing you as you come out of the shower? Actually, I invite mine in with me."

"Someone once said Jesus began and ended with two impossibilities - he entered at a door marked "do not enter" and left at a door marked "do not exit". Now he says 'Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.'"

"On Wednesday the sanctuary is slightly lit and we can come on out to really focus and meditate..."

"...given to us in multitudinous fashion..."

"The amplification of your word gives us no or little or no excuse at all..."

"May we realize that the best defense against Satan is the realization that he is and he is here and he is the ruler of this world."

"...these greater gifts that we have here and perhaps it's a curse that we're inundated by your opulence"

"Realizing that it is not this edifice, this structure, the pews, that is the church but rather the church is the church, might we collectively offer up our accolades."

"...May we be inundated with your blessing afresh and anew... might we also thank you that we can come here and move about and have our being..."

"We are again appreciative of the programs that go forth from here, from Awana down to Missions down to all our ministries down to...

"May you bless this new format to guide and direct our thoughts this Wednesday..."

"...so that the Feds cannot dicate to them..."

"Might we also realize that our best weapon against Satan is the fact that he exists..."

"I keep plugging that because I know we can keep gliding through the week but it is important to do this collectively."

"We are fast losing our national monuments - another cross has been taken down after 60 years in California."

"I wonder if we're praying enough. Are we vociferous enough?"

"...The prayers audibly stated to be conveyed to you in a collective way now..."

"Many people have reached a cross-roads in the U.S. through M--- Bible Church."

"...that we would emblazon upon our thoughts and our lives..."

"May that country become stable through the efforts of the U.S.; may we be vociferous and prayerful as to what's going on..."

"...we know it didn't come without plenty of a cost - blood, sweat, and tears."